Failing Forward

Because You have given me TWO of Your greatest blessings, I seek you more than ever. Yet I fail forward on a daily basis. I yearn for those quiet calm moments I’ve known before where I could fully release myself to You without interruptions and distractions. Yet somehow I have found a way to become hindered, guarded in my time with You as there is always another needing my time, energy, abilities or my mind is wrapped up in the chaos that I’ve created in my head. The knots are tight and unwilling to give way in order to release clarity of thought to give you more. More than the small, thin and fragile crevices of moments I offer. Frustrated that the shouts of the world drive me away from deliberately settling into the quiet whispers of Your voice.

Failing forward with the tenderness of knowing you cover me in this time. Your grace. Your strength. Your compassion. Motherhood is never ending, but may I fully embrace the shift of seasons it produces that aligns my heart closer to yours!

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‘Real, reveolutionary love must give itself, for it can never be satisfied to do anything less.’

~Joyce Meyer

Can I just tell you how blessed this online Bible study of the book A Confident Heart by Renee Swope is!  There are crevices in my heart that have been crying out to be filled, longing to be soothed and desired to be pursued. In the 3 chapters we’ve studied I’ve been challenged to name some of my fears and doubts and begin the process of bulldozing through them to gain freedom. Truth is really the only genuine way to wholeness. I’ve read other books along this topic, yet find myself coming up short in the results. I have so much hope in this study not only because I already see small changes in my thinking, but the author is genuinely transparent with herself that you can’t help but let those walls you’ve created come tumbling down.

When I hear the word priceless, I begin to think of all the treasures that I hold dear that no one could ever name a price for me to accept in giving them away. Isn’t that a beautiful picture of our Heavenly Father is with us, His Beloved! His Word says His love is priceless…no price could take it away from us!  Soak in that truth for awhile. Go ahead, go get yourself a cup of coffee, relax in your cozy chair and breathe that in!

I, too, like Sam have this imaginary bucket looking to be filled. Yet my choice of the things and people I offer it to are not to fill it. Sense of worth, approval and significance, yet as it proves to be meaningless. The cracks leak any blessings offered leaving my bucket still empty. Only the Lover of my soul can seal my holes and fill my bucket  until it overflows.

Not only does His love prove to be priceless, His whispered words chosen, valued, treasured, loved, heard, understood, accepted, forgive and free seep into this dry heart quenching a thirst leaving me to never thirst again.