Perfectly Imperfect

‘Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God ~ you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration ~ what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day. Your thoughts ~ how rare, how beautiful! God, I’ll never comprehend them!’  ~Psalm 139: 13-17 (The Message)

I have always said that there is one thing, without a doubt, that I am perfect at. I’m quite the expert at it! Pretty sure no one can do it any better. I have had many years, situations and experiences to perfect it! I would wear my gold star (by the way, I love to get gold stars…I mean, who doesn’t right?), but I try to be a pretty humble human being. 🙂

What is this great and wonderful perfection that she owns? Don’t be jealous when I let you in on it, but I am quite perfect at being imperfect! #PerfectlyImperfect

Imperfection defined by Webster is ‘a flaw; fault or defect’. Yes, I have many of those. Let’s see where do I begin? Well, we could start with my physical flaws that I really can’t change: an enormous forehead that takes up what feels like half my face, my pinocchio nose that has a weird indention at the tip, my pencil shaped body frame or my long ‘giraffe’ neck…just to name a few. Or we could focus on the behavioral imperfections I have developed. That would include: people pleasing, unrealistic ideal self image, caring too much what others think of me along with a tendency to be a detailed planner. I also carry some baggage of negative thoughts and grumbling that can become quite heavy if not extended to Him to carry. I took  to my Facebook and Instagram community and was encouraged by the authentic transparency of those that commented. The list included: control of everything, jealousy, perfectionism, self image/body image, difficulty defining true beauty, carrying the weight of the world, and trying to ‘fix’ everything. Some related to my own such as pleasing others, worry, negative thoughts, grumbling and comparison.

There are situations and maybe even people that enter our world to bring to the surface the intensity that these insecurities are embedded within us. I know this to be truth in my own life where I thought I was no longer insecure regarding an area until a situation arose to help me realize how strong it was within me. The idea of this post was birthed as I was having a conversation with my mother in~law. She complimented on the scarf I was wearing, in which I replied, “Yes, I have to cover up my giraffe neck.”  (True story…I said those insecure words out loud!!!) Her response “Oh Shana, you have a swan neck that is absolutely beautiful.” Why do I tend to focus on all my unique qualities and view them in such a negative, ‘there is something wrong with me’ perspective.

The issue isn’t that we have these struggles as His Word says that, ‘in the world you will have trials and tribulations, but I have overcome the world’; it is to Whom we take them to and the actions we do in response to them that allows us to embrace them fully. To be fully rooted and grounded in your identity in Christ! When I react in a way that disagrees with my spirit, I pray a simple, short prayer of 3 words, “Change me, Lord.” There is a reason for my reaction in which God desires to make me a better me and more into His image.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” ~Psalm 51:10

In my own journey, as everyone’s is different, I am learning this is a process…a daily decision on my part to pray these insecurities up and release them in the reality of His perfection. I  know that He created me perfectly  with such flaws not to make me imperfect but to reveal His perfection and strength in my weaknesses. To Him be all the glory! I know the need for Him through my imperfections which helps me to own and love them. Finding a new found freedom to embrace the confident and beautiful woman He destined me to be!

 

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