My name is Shana and I often say yes at times when everything inside of me is screaming, NO! The mere pleasure of keeping the peace, conflict avoidance, and having people like me can be masked into my personality flaws.
Why I do this? For one, I don’t like to disappoint anyone! My heart grieves if I have dropped a ball, had to unavoidably back out of a commitment or said something to hurt another…the short, loud word NO. I have this issue where I, at times, can and do love others above myself to an extreme. It simply states an insecure, people pleasing heart that desires to be rescued.
When I tell others I’m a stay at home Mommy of 2 little boys (ages 2 and 11 months), I see the look on their face. The unsaid expectations of ‘Well, you don’t work so you have the time. I mean what do you do all day? You don’t do a lot so of course this won’t be too much to ask.” All of this is completely untrue, but will stop the list and thoughts there! The non~existent time given to myself as a stay at home Mommy has made me question whether or not I have the time, energy (physical and mental) to expend into such a project as an online Bible study…no matter how wonderful and great it will prove to be! Is this going to be something that will recharge, energize, and restore myself OR will it deplete more of what I don’t have to give!
I am beyond excited about this study, A Confident Heart by Renee Swope. Looking for God to do a great work within me through this. Super pumped to meet newbies like myself as well as others that have journeyed down this path before.
Thank you Proverbs 31 Ministries for providing this opportunity!